My Dear Red Bird
I had a weird moment the other day. The Hubster and I were in the bathroom brushing our teeth before bed and I was suddenly over come with such heart stopping sorrow as I looked and the man I love and thought 'Oh my God, you're going to turn 50. I don't want you to die, I don't want to die.' It was a sudden panic that life was moving fast. We are past the half way point statistically speaking. I almost burst into tears I was so heart broken. Of course you know the man is many years away from turning 50 and I don't know why I was struck with this sudden fear, but there it is, weird moment in the bathroom. I've had other such feelings lately, a need to get things done like never before, a feeling of it's now or never. We almost bought a sports car the other week. A beautiful little black bullet, with two tiny seats in the back for those capable of folding themselves up into tiny packages. I mean we were ready to sign the papers. What is wrong with us, we are a four person family one of whom is most definitely not capable of the bending and folding thing, my poor Aspie boy! It's also weird because I feel incredibly sad, yet also strangely content with life right now. As much as I feel it's the beginning of the end, I also feel it's the beginning of a new beginning. Mid life crisis? Oh well, at least I'm being productive. Just hope we don't lose it all together and do something crazy.... or maybe I do, it's hard to know these days!
Always yours
A slightly off kilter Sparrow
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