Dear Readers,
As you know, Am I Lost is a blog about beginnings, endings, and all the happiness and laughter, sadness and tears, and every emotion in between that two women can feel when their lives have been turned upside down. It’s a blog about the struggle to get from point A to point B with all of the pitfalls that life throws in the way and, while it might meander at times and get lost in the whims of what we, the authors, have had on our minds on any particular day, we hope the message is always, “get off of your ass and get on your journey to becoming “you” before it’s too late”. Okay, that might be a simplified message but you get the drift…
The feedback that we’ve received so far has been positive and uplifting. You guys are laughing with us, crying with us but, mostly, you’re cheering us on. What is most heartwarming, is the personal connection that a lot of you are making with our stories. It’s important, isn’t it, to be able to connect with a story, to recognize yourself and to know you’re not alone. We human beings, we need to belong, to have an identity, to know we’re not alone and, if reading our entries can give this sense of belonging to even one person, then we couldn’t ask for more.
There is one theme in particular that most of our readers have connected with and that’s the issue of mental health. We are proud mental health advocates as we struggle to bring our children through life with their various issues, struggles and labels. What we have discovered, in our attempts to bring our children through some pretty dark and trying times is that mental health should not be buried under a blanket of secrecy. Rather, it needs to be front and centre and part of a continuous dialogue to help eradicate ignorance and social stigma.
Having said all of that, we would like to share with you a “Guest Blog Entry”. A dear friend of this blog has so bravely come forward with a story of her own issues that inspired much thought and it moved us deeply that she would share. Moreover, this entry brings to light an important issue…just how funny is it to make light of mental health?
With deep appreciation for her courage,
Birdie and Sparrow
I Am a Little OCD About That...
We have all said it at some point in our lives: “I am a little OCD when it comes to cleaning”, or “Please don’t move my plates, I am a little OCD about where they go”, but have you ever stopped to think about what having OCD is really like?
I can remember having obsessions from around the age of six but at age 12, around the time of puberty, my OCD got so bad I was slamming my fingers in my bedroom door as a physical reminder that the door was closed. You see, the monster inside my brain had convinced me that if the door was left open then something terrible would happen to a loved one. I would spend hours each day picking small pieces of lint out of carpets and the couch and washing my hands until they bled in order to avoid “contaminating” my family.
I remember running to my mother in tears screaming “something is wrong with me! I can’t stop slamming my fingers in the door!” Now that I am a mother myself, I can’t imagine how terrifying this must have been for her.
For years I hid my obsessions from others, making excuses to leave the room so I could perform my rituals in private. However, in the past few years, I have decided to stop being ashamed of my mental illness and to use it as a tool to spread awareness. When we imagine someone with a mental illness we get a sense of fear and misunderstanding. My goal is to show you that we are just like everyone else. We are mothers, daughters, wives and sisters.
Today I no longer slam my fingers in my bedroom door but I bet I have the cleanest hands in all of Ontario!
So the next time you want to say “ I am a little OCD about that” stop and think about those who live their lives with this disorder and instead say “please don’t move my plates, I am a total asshole when it comes to that!”
Our guest blogger certainly raised an interesting question. How much good do we do when we jokingly talk about mental health. It's a double edged sword really. We joke to make people more comfortable about the subject and because sometimes that's all you can do. Let me make it clear, by joke I don't for a second mean make fun of. But the other side of this is the tendency for very serious dibillitating illness to be dumbed down, used by people who don't really suffer from the hard cruel reality that is mental illness and used instead as an excuse for rude or purely selfish behaviour. I've seen people use OCD as an excuse to get things they want, I've seen people use Asperger's as an excuse to say what they want. When every second person now claims some level of OCD, how do you get taken seriously. How do you raise public awareness of the real symptoms and the horrendous grip this condition has on a persons daily life. It almost seems like OCD has become 'cool' now. I think now of Michael J Fox and his decision to speak to congress off his medication. He was ridiculed by many for his bravery (mainly because it made them uncomfortable) but boy was that a clear picture of what Parkinson's is and why research needs to continue down the road it's on. Having people who really know what it's like to suffer from mental illness speak up is so very important. It's extremely difficult when many still have antiquated views on the subject (sadly the words retard and spastic are still used negatively even today). So I applaud our guest blogger for sharing and encourage anyone else out there who would like to share their story to step forward. You are welcome at Birdie and Sparrow.
ReplyDeleteThis story made me sad, at first, and then it filled me with positivity. Sparrow, we both know how hard it is to speak up so publicly about the small details of our lives and here is someone who is not only offering up their story, but who is at the stage in the acceptance of her condition where she is not only publicly declaring her issue, she is doing it with no shame. Her name has been left out of the blog purely because we prefer to keep things anonymous here on Am I Lost. And, why should she be ashamed. OCD is no different than any other illness. We would flock to her with support if she were going through Chemo, or had to have surgery for something. I'm just in awe of her ability to be blunt and put her story out there.I'm hoping Fledgling reads this one because this issue, as you know, is one that she deals with, though to a lesser degree. I'm hoping she will be able to recognize bits of herself in this story and, in doing so, forgives and accepts herself
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