Can You Hear Red Bird Sing?

Sparrow,

Your last post was inspiring and it named a state of being that I am often plagued with; “inbetween”. I didn’t have a name for this state but now I do and I’m going to steal it from you.

Inbetween.

This year, for both of us, has been marked by  “heady forward motion” with hair pulling periods of “inbetween” hasn’t it, and, since we are keeping a “blog journal”, the evidence of these periods is right there for all to see. There are posts of positivity and action, and posts of “I’m in a funk” from both of us. The thing that I appreciate, and is also on display for all to see, is that the periods of inbetween don’t seem to hold us back, do they? We admit to the feeling of frustration, loss, confusion and actual sadness of these times but we know it’s a transient feeling. We allow ourselves the “funk” (as you admit to feeling in your last post) and we allow ourselves to feel every second of it because even the “inbetween” is part of the journey, isn’t it?

Regardless, I hate the feeling of "inbetween" and I have empathy for the fact that you’re there.

With all of that said, you might find the following true life conversation between myself and a friend maddeningly interesting:

Friend: “Ya, but it’s easy for you”

 Me: ?????

Me: It’s easy for me?

Me: And, why, pray tell, is it “easy for me”?!

Friend: Because you’re you.  Things don’t phase you. If you want something you go get it. Plus, you’re one of those people that just has things easy.

Me: ?!?!?!?!

I wasn’t sure if I should laugh, scream, or cry because of this conversation and I wondered what you, a woman caught in the funk of inbetween, would think of it.  Things are easy for me, Sparrow. That must be why everything’s falling into place for me and why happiness is coming my way. Things are easy for me. I’m just one of the lucky ones, I guess.

This is what I have to say:

We are all individually RESPONSIBLE for our own lives. 

RESPONSIBLE. 

We have been given life, for whatever reason, and it is our obligation to go out there, into the world, and achieve what we want from it. I might have learned that lesson late in the game but I learned it and I am out there fulfilling my responsibility to my own life and it is no more easy for me, or you, than it is for anyone else. The difference between us and this person, Sparrow, is that we have stopped laying blame, finding excuses, crying out “woe is me” without admitting that the "woe is me" is transient and will pass with hard work.

TAKE RESPONSIBILITY!

We admit to the inbetween, Sparrow, we say “I’m in a funk, I’m lost, I need direction" (and a dehumidifier) and we find a way! I’m proud of us. We are my heroes because we have all the bumps and bruises from being in a rough and tumble game and we continue on!  

HEROES. 

On occasion, we lose our way…but, really, we just stumble off of the path a little, the way is never lost because we, my dear friend, are taking responsibility and it is for that reason, and that reason alone, that I am finally starting to hear, as our inspiration Mary Oliver writes, Red Bird sing:

“All night my heart makes its way
however it can over the rough ground
of uncertainties, but only until night
meets and then is overwhelmed by
morning, the light deepening, the
wind easing and just waiting, as I
too wait (and when have I ever been
disappointed?) for redbird to sing” 

From A Thousand Mornings

I love you my "inbetween" friend

Yours Always,

Red bird