Storms, Voice Overs and Grey's Anatomy

"There's an end to every storm.

 

 Once all the trees have been uprooted, once all the houses have been ripped apart, the wind will hush. The clouds will part. The rain will stop. The sky will clear in an instant.

 

 And only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn...

who was strong enough to survive it."

I'm  about to "out" myself:   I watch Grey's Anatomy.  The above is a quote I took from Meredith Grey's voice over at the end of the season 9 finale (don't worry, if you're a fan and you haven't yet seen the finale, I'm not about to give anything away with this post). I started watching Grey's Anatomy for the first time about a year ago and I started for a specific reason:

I needed to cry.

I needed an emotional outlet.

There was so much turmoil in my life and I discovered that I needed the cathartic experience that comes with watching a show that tugged at my heartstrings, that took me on an emotional roller coaster ride, leaving me breathless and wasted, but ready to take on the world because it offered me a safe outlet for my pain.

IT WORKED BEAUTIFULLY....that and swearing at the top of my lungs :-)

After watching that episode, and the tears had stopped, I was left pondering the voice over...

"And only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn...

who was strong enough to survive it."

 

I realized, in no time, that I don't agree with this quote.  Have you ever seen a broken human being? Have you ever witnessed someone go through an emotional pain so terrible that you can't fathom what it feels like? I have. Witnessing it made me understand:  Some pains are unbearable and yes, some of us survive them, but a lot of us don't and that has nothing to do with strength.  This statement,  I would argue, is a dangerous generalization.  I survived my terrible year, and the terrible years that preceeded it and, yes, I am a stubborn and tough SOB but sometimes, even tough SOB's can't weather a storm if the storm is forceful enough. Even stubborn SOB's can be left crippled and weak, and yes, sometimes they don’t survive. That's not about strength, that's about the size of the storm...easily confused but not interchangeable concepts.

My daughter is here after the storm, but only because we forced her to be.  Left on her own, her storm would not have been weathered and, should she have been taken from me, it is a guess as to whether or not I would have had the strength to continue.  Some storms can’t be weathered. Some storms take us and bash us and we are never the same.

I challenge you to think twice about pain, about strength and about survival and if you do, remember that pain is not meted out in "fair" doses, rationed out by what can be handled.  Always know that  not "getting back up" after being knocked down is not a sign of weakness but, perhaps, an indicator of the gravity of your trauma.


I challenge you to say no to thoughtless, pointless gross generalizations like the following that make people feel shame for buckling under extreme duress:

.

...and say no to well penned voice overs, as well, for often, they sound pretty but hold no real substance. Now, put the kettle on, get a box of Kleenex, fire up an episode, and have a good cry

Love Always,

A "Grey's Anatomy Watching" Red Bird