So October is over and I'm glad, it's been a sad month for me. My beautiful little girl died a year ago and it's been hard. I told myself that I just needed to get through October, but today, the flood gates have opened. I have found myself crying at odd moments, it hit's me like a punch to the chest. A sudden emotion that takes my breath away. I have cried myself to sleep so many times, it's the real reason we need a de-humidifier. She was my constant companion for 17 years, following me everywhere I went. It still feels like part of me is missing. When she first died I had a physical reaction a real feeling of hollowness in my chest. It felt cold like a breeze was passing through. I will never forget the horror of her slowly becoming limp in my arms as the vet ended her suffering, she had kidney disease that she had fought heroically for a good year. My strong brave girl. So now I am saying goodbye all over again and it is no less painful.
I love you my sweet sweet girl.
Mummy
This post makes me deeply sad. I remember your beautiful girl and she was beautiful. I remember how she used to wander away while we would be deep into a chat session in the back yard and, inevitably, we'd find her in the shade asleep under Fledgling's play structure. I also remember you, one day, in the yard, brokenhearted because you had just decided you were going to have to have her "put to sleep". It was terrible seeing you like that. I'm sorry the feeling is hitting you again. I send you all my love
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