50 Shades of Grey

Dear Readers,

I'm addressing this post to everyone and not just, as usual, to my beautiful Sparrow because this topic is something that concerns us all.

Shades of Grey

We, my friends, live in a world of grey. Nothing, absolutely nothing is black or white. How we perceive ourselves and our realities is a hot topic for philosophers and is, unarguably, a jumbled mess of truths that muddies white and lightens black. We live in a grey zone of "mostly true". Sometimes we're happy, sometimes we're sad, but we aren't necessarily one or the other; we can simultaneously be both one and the other.

I suffer from Chronic Sorrow and, yet, as Sparrow likes to say to me in personal conversations, she thinks that I am one of the happiest people she's ever met. I still suffer from Chronic Sorrow. Happiness and sorrow are partners that follow me through life, but "happy" is the predominate choice. I've learned that I can smile even if I was crying the day before and that my smile affects me and the people around me. My smile saves me - It keeps me from drowning. I don't have to be sad all the time even though I often am. I don't have to be happy all the time even though I often am. I am a woman living in a world of grey. I'm not defined by absolutes and, while I don't particularly like grey as a shade, I LOVE IT AS A STATE OF BEING.

Sparrow, you picked your smile up off of the floor and you passed it around, like a gift, to people around you as you mentioned in your last posting and not only were they affected by it but, so too, were you. Your whole evening changed because someone had the courage to remind you that you live in a state of grey. You can choose from the shades in your life and come up with lighter or darker ones but it doesn't have to be all or nothing, black or white.

It doesn't sound like a good thing, living in a state of grey, does it, so call it whatever you want...just as long as you remind yourself that as a healthy human being (I am working on the assumption that you are not suffering from some form of mental illness or neurological disorder that renders you incapable of mood choice)you do not have to live in extremes. You can choose to wear a smile, you can spend a day crying, or a week even, and still be someone who can choose to smile when you're ready.

I send you all love, hugs and, most importantly, you should know I'm wearing a smile (a goofy, dorky one) and I'm directing it at all of you

<3 Red Bird

PS, interestingly, as children with Apserger's Syndrome, both my daughter and Sparrow's son do, almost unwaveringly, live in a black and white world and this is something I hope to touch on in the future